Why Teach Abstinence? (pg.i-ii)
This program addresses the questions and concerns teens have about sex, love, and relationships in a way that promotes a lifestyle free of hurtful consequences. The program emphasizes a “risk elimination” message that promotes abstinence of all high-risk behaviors (including sexual activity), ultimately protecting the individual physically and mentally. Sexual promiscuity of youth is a growing problem everywhere. This program explores the psychological reasons that contribute to teens making decisions to become sexually active and help them learn skills needed to avoid such risky behaviors. Developing good character in our youth is the key to abstinence promotion.
“Abstinence is the only choice that is 100% effective in eliminating sexually related consequences.”
* Please note certain aspects of this program before proceeding further.
- Content is divided into five units.
- Each unit contains various discussion topics and activities specific to the particular subject matter of the unit.
- Transparencies and handout masters can be found in the last section of the binder.
- Pages iii-vii outline each unit including the goals, activities, and materials needed.
- Pages 1-54 give detailed content of each unit.
Unit 1:Character Counts (pgs. iii, 1-16)
I. Overview of Unit Goals and Activities (see page iii)
II. Human Person Transparency and Discussion (pg. 1)
This transparency emphasizes 5 elements of the human person that combine to complete a human being. Further discussion of this unit reveals how sex affects each element of the human person.
III. Where are Teens Learning About Sex Discussion (pg. 3)
This discussion explores the various sources of information on sex that teens have found both reliable and unreliable.
IV. Boys Will Be_ and Girls Will Be_ Video Clip and Discussion (pg. 4)
This video clip discusses the perceived differences between boys and girls by teens of the opposite sex. Discussion questions focus on exploring the student’s perspectives on gender differences as well as identifying characteristics they are looking for in a relationship with the opposite sex.
V. Relationship: Love, Lust, or Infatuation? Discussion (pg.5-7)
This discussion focuses on differentiating between unconditional love, lust, and infatuation. The goal of this discussion is for the student to understand that the characteristics of love are very different than the characteristics that define lust and infatuation.
VI. Intimacy Video Clip and Discussion (pg. 6)
This video clip utilizes various interviews with teenagers to portray popular perceptions and attitudes regarding intimacy with persons of the opposite and same sex and how intimacy is differentiated from lust and infatuation. The goal of the post-video discussion is to give the students an opportunity to identify their own definition of intimacy and it’s vital role in developing unconditional love with others.
VII. Perfect Partner Video Clip and Discussion (pg. 7)
This video clip utilizes several interviews with teenagers to portray popular attitudes and perceptions regarding the “perfect partner” and attributes that are characteristic of the “perfect partner”. The post-video discussion focuses on allowing the students to identify their own perception of the perfect partner and which attributes are most important to them in their future mate.
VIII. Character and Standards Discussion (pg. 8-13)
This discussion emphasizes the importance of developing good character, which is essential for making important and major decisions that may affect teens intellectually, emotionally, physically, socially, and ethically. The discussion expounds on the three primary elements of good character including moral knowledge, moral feeling, and moral acting. Page 13 expounds even further on character building concepts when applying them to romantic relationships and the benefits they can offer such a relationship.
IX. Goals and Dreams Discussion and Handout (pg. 14)
The goal of this discussion and handout is to stimulate a discussion of future goals and dreams with the students. The instructor focuses the class discussion on how engaging in premarital sex can negatively alter these goals/dreams in many different ways.
X. No Apologies Video and Discussion (pg. 15)
This video again uses interviews with teens and adults to expose and discuss various reasons why teens become sexually active and how this high-risk behavior can lead to negative physical and emotional consequences. The post-video discussion focuses on the importance of abstaining from sex before marriage in order to protect oneself from internal and external consequences.
Unit 2: Truth and Consequences (pgs. iv, 17-30)
I. Overview of Unit Goals and Activities (see page iv)
II. Discussion of STD Statistics and “The Facts” Transparency (pg. 17-18)
This discussion explores the various ways that sexual activity can affect teens physically, specifically through contraction of (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) STDs. “The Facts” transparency and handout gives statistical data of sexual activity in teens and the associated risks of contracting various STDs.
III. Discussion of STD’s (pg.19-26)
Pages 19-20 discuss the various bacterial (curable) STDs such as:
a. Chlamydia;
b. Syphilis; and
c. Gonorrhea.
Pages 21-24 Discuss Viral (non-curable) STDs Including:
- Human Papilloma Virus;
- Genital Herpes;
- Hepatitis B, C, D; and
- HIV/AIDS.
(The content includes symptoms for each disease as well as the short-term and long-term consequences.)
Page 25 discusses condoms and the limited protection they provide against STD’s contrary to popular sex education today.
IV. Discussion of the Decisions One Must Make in Regard to Personal Freedom (pg.27-30)
This section discusses the decisions teens are faced with when pregnancy becomes reality. The three options discussed in this program include parenting the child, placing the child up for adoption, or aborting the child. Each option is discussed in detail giving a non-biased, but factual description of each. There are some very difficult consequences that must be considered before making the final decision. This section discusses such issues and prompts a discussion with the class regarding the circumstances that teens can be free from by abstaining from a sexual relationship before marriage such as:
- Freedom from embarrassment, guilt, worry, and shame;
- Freedom from constant medical checkups;
- Freedom from damaging major body organs; and
- Freedom from pregnancy and the consequences it brings.
Unit 3: Dangers To The Heart (pgs. v, 31-35)
I. Unit Goals (see page v)
II. Paper and Glue Illustration (pg. 31)
This picture of the two pieces of paper separating without a clean split after being glued together illustrates to the students that the consequences of premarital sex are due, in part, to the breaking of a bond that is not only physical, but emotional, and spiritual as well.
III. Discussion of Emotional Risks to Sexual Activity (pg. 32-35)
Pages 32-35 discuss the various emotional risks of engaging in premarital sexual activity. Such risks include:
- Regret and self-reproach;
- Guilt and depression;
- Loss of self-respect;
- Loss of reputation;
- Reduced ability to trust/ Fear of commitment;
- Stunted personal growth;
- Anger over betrayal;
- Negative effects on sexual intimacy in marriage; and
- Spiritual implications.
*Each risk is discussed in detail and supported by specific examples.
Unit 4: Avoiding Dating Disasters (pgs. vi, 37-48)
I. Overview of Unit Goals and Activities (see pg.vi)
II. Discussion of Reasons for Dating (pg. 37)
The discussion questions on this page are focused toward challenging each student with his or her own ideals and perspectives regarding legitimate and non-legitimate reasons for dating.
III. Progression of Sexual Involvement Transparency and Discussion (pg. 38)
The purpose of this handout is to inform the students of the progression of sexual feeling with increased physical intimacy. The goal of the discussion questions are to gain insight into the student’s views and perceptions regarding expectations for sexual progression in a relationship as well as how and when to set physical boundaries in a relationship.
IV. Discussion of Dating Awareness (pg. 39-40)
This discussion examines five important aspects of dating that each partner must be self-aware of before entering into a dating relationship. These aspects include:
a. Expectations
b. Conscience
c. Limitations
d. Warning signs
e. Drugs, alcohol, and other high risk behavior
V. Six Keys to a Healthy Relationship (pg. 41)
This page discusses 6 important elements necessary to create a positive dating relationship. These elements include:
- Communication
- Commitment
- Self-control
- Compatibility
- Trustworthiness
- Unconditional love
VI. Testing a Sexual Relationship Discussion (pg. 42)
The purpose of these discussion questions is to challenge the students to evaluate what percentage of their relationship is based on sex and what percentage is made up of the six elements of a healthy relationship mentioned above.
VII. Love or Infatuation Discussion and Handout (pg. 43)
This page reinforces with the students the differences between love and infatuation and uses the handout to help them distinguish whether their own relationship with the opposite sex is based on love or infatuation.
VIII. Character Test and Discussion (pg. 44-45)
The purpose of this test is for the students to complete a self-examination test to determine their sexual maturity and responsibility level. Page 45 gives the students tips on refusal skills if and when they are challenged to be sexually active.
IX. Famous Lines Transparency (pg. 45)
The purpose of this transparency is to give the students examples of challenging statements that the students may hear throughout their dating experiences as well as possible responses to these lines.
X. Abstinence Discussion (pg. 46)
This discussion focuses on defining abstinence and explaining the specificities of the definition including an explanation of outercourse as well as intercourse and how both of these sexual activities can be emotionally devastating.
XI. Commitment to Abstinence Discussion and Transparency (pg. 47)
This discussion emphasizes that it is never too late to begin again and that a person can regain their self-control and self-respect by remaining abstinent until marriage. The transparency and handout for this section provides 7 steps for the individual desiring to recommit to abstinence. (see page 47)
Unit 5: Co-Habitation or Marriage? (pgs. vii, 49-54)
I. Unit Goals (see page vii)
II. Discussion on Marriage vs. Living Together (pg. 50-51)
This discussion focuses on comparing sex within a marriage relationship and sex within a co-habitation, non-marriage relationship. The discussion data is based on factual information from various studies conducted. As a result of this discussion, it is found that the benefits of sex in a marital relationship far outweigh those in a non-marital relationship.
III. Why Saving Sex Matters Discussion and Conclusion (pg. 52-54)
These final three pages of discussion material are intended to solidify the information gained throughout the entirety of the program. The last three pages of conclusive material focuses on the idea that “love seeks the best for oneself and others. True love, including the sexual dimension of love, is founded on character. Anything else is counterfeit. Acting in good character creates true love, and all the benefits that comes with it are well worth the wait!” (pg.53)
IV. “Sex Sounds A Lot Like Love But Is Not” Handout
The purpose of this handout is to expose the students to statements and clichés that are indicative of infatuation or lust rather than true love. The goal of this handout is for the students to distinguish between lines of love and lines of lust or infatuation.
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